7 Wrong Ways to Chase Balance (and What to Do Instead)

Everyone wants balance in their life, especially when we are in the throes of midlife, and our hormones are all out of whack.

We want energy without burnout. (Is that even possible?)

Success without sacrifice.

Peace without guilt.

But here's the uncomfortable truth: most of us are and have been chasing balance in ways that actually push it farther away.

And spoiler alert, balance isn't something you achieve once and keep forever.

It's something you build, adjust, and protect...over and over again.

If you've been feeling stretched thin, constantly "behind," or quietly resentful despite doing everything, you may be chasing balance the wrong way.

Let's talk about the 7 most common mistakes and what to do instead.

1. Trying to Do Everything (Just More Efficiently)

Many women believe balance in their lives will come once they become better organized, more disciplined, or more productive.

So they:

• Wake up earlier if that's even possible in peri-menopause.

• Stack habits, do we call this multitasking as if it's possible?

• Color-code calendars, been there, tried that.

• Push harder

But efficiency doesn't create balance; in my experience, it often hides overload and burnout.

What to Do Instead:

Balance starts with doing less on purpose.

Ask yourself:

• What am I doing out of obligation or out of feeling guilty instead of alignment with my goals?

• What could be simplified, delegated, or dropped entirely?

Balance isn't about fitting more in; it's about deciding what actually belongs and matters.

2. Thinking Balance Means Equal Time for Everything

We often imagine balance as a perfectly divided pie:

• Work

• Family

• Health

• Self-care

• Side hustle

But life doesn't work in neat portions...ever, but especially in midlife.

Some seasons demand more from certain areas, and pretending otherwise leads to guilt and frustration.

What to Do Instead:

Think in seasons, not symmetry.

• Some months prioritize income

• Some days focus on healing or rest without feeling guilty

• Others allow creativity to lead the way and finally do things you have always wanted.

Balance is responsiveness, not rigidity.

3. Waiting Until You're Burned Out to "Fix Things."

Many women don't seek true balance until they're already exhausted, resentful, or unwell. I see so many of my patients have waited so long to put themselves first, and by this time, the nervous system is fried, and decision-making feels overwhelming.

What to Do Instead:

Treat balance in your life as preventive care, not damage control.

• Notice early warning signs: irritability, sleep changes, brain fog, loss of joy. Seek out care from a qualified hormone specialist; it's not a matter of if hormones change, it's when. Having balanced hormones can make all the difference in day-to-day life.

• Make small adjustments before things fall apart.

You don't need to be broken to deserve rest.

4. Using Self-Care as a Band-Aid

Bubble baths, candles, and weekend getaways can be lovely, but they don't fix chronic overload. Honestly, the phrase "I need a vacation after my vacation" didn't come from nothing.

Self-care without structural change becomes just another task on the to-do list.

What to Do Instead:

Shift from self-care to self-respect.

That means:

• Setting boundaries

• Saying no without explanation or feeling guilty

• Protecting your energy like a non-negotiable resource

Real-life balance comes from how you live daily, not how you recover occasionally.

5. Believing Balance Will Come "After This Season."

Many women postpone trying to feel balanced by saying... I will:

• After the kids are older

• After this job settles down

• After the next promotion

• After, After, After

But there will always be another season in life.

What to Do Instead:

Create balance for the season you're in.

Even small shifts matter:

• Shorter workdays once a week, or hey, use that PTO you let build up for no reason. I used to be that person...but now I use it.

• A protected morning routine before anyone in the house is up.

• Clear work stop-times. This is important, especially if you are in leadership roles or own your own business.

Balance doesn't wait for permission; it's practiced in real life.

6. Ignoring Your Hormones and Energy Cycles

In midlife, especially, energy isn't just about mindset; it's biological.

Hormonal shifts affect:

• Motivation

• Sleep

• Focus

• Stress tolerance

Trying to power through like you did in your 30s often backfires.

What to Do Instead:

Work with your body, not against it.

• Plan demanding tasks during higher-energy times.

• Allow recovery without guilt.

• Address hormonal health instead of blaming yourself. Again, remember that hormone changes are inevitable, but you do not have to "just deal with it". I help women every day in my practice balance their hormones. Seek out a certified hormone specialist who can help.

Balance feels impossible when your biology is ignored.

7. Chasing Someone Else's Version of Balance

Social media often sells a polished version of life balance:

• Minimalist homes, instead of a home that is actually lived in

• Perfect routines, that's not real life.

• Aesthetic productivity

But what feels balanced for someone else may feel suffocating to you.

What to Do Instead:

Define balance for your real life.

Ask:

• What actually brings me peace and joy?

• What drains me consistently that I can say no to?

• What do I want more of this year, not someday?

Balance isn't aspirational, it's personal.

The Truth About Balance

Balance is not:

• A destination

• A perfect routine

• A one-time decision

Balance is:

• Ongoing

• Flexible

• Built through awareness, boundaries, and sometimes healthcare

And most importantly, it's allowed to change as you do.

If you're feeling off, it doesn't mean you've failed.

It means something needs to be adjusted, not forced.

Ready to Stop Chasing Balance and Start Living It?

Reading about balance is one thing.

Practicing it daily is what actually changes your life.

That’s exactly why I created the 30-Day Self-Respect Planner.

This free planner isn’t about doing more.

It’s about consistently respecting your time, energy, and limits.

Over the next 30 days, you’ll:

• Rebuild boundaries without guilt

• Identify what’s draining you vs. what’s sustaining you

• Learn to prioritize yourself without blowing up your life

• Practice daily alignment instead of reactive hustle

Because real balance doesn’t come from fixing everything at once, it comes from small, intentional decisions repeated daily.