“Comparison” The Thief of Joy…Why You’re Exactly Where You’re Supposed to Be
We live in a world where comparison is almost unavoidable. Everywhere we turn, social media feeds, TV shows, glossy magazines, even casual conversations, we’re reminded of what others have, what they’ve accomplished, and where they are in life. The highlight reels are endless. Someone’s buying their dream home. Another person is launching a business that looks effortless and wildly successful. A friend seems to be traveling every other weekend while you’re just trying to keep up with bills and responsibilities, feeling like you never leave your house.
It’s easy to slip into the trap of thinking you’re behind, not enough, or simply “not where you should be.” But here’s the truth: You are exactly where you’re supposed to be in this moment.
One day, when I was feeling particularly discouraged about the slow start to my practice compared to others, my daughter gently reminded me: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Those words landed deeply. She was right. Comparison doesn’t just distract us, it steals our joy, our peace, and our ability to appreciate the journey we’re on. It takes what’s uniquely ours, our timing, our growth, our personal story, and makes us believe it’s less valuable than someone else’s.
This post is my reminder, both to myself and to you, to step back, breathe, and reframe. Together, let’s unpack why comparison is so toxic, how society fuels it, and most importantly, how to reclaim your joy and embrace the life you’re meant to live.
Why We Compare: A Look at Human Nature
Comparison is not new. Long before Instagram filters and LinkedIn promotions, humans compared themselves to others. Evolutionarily, it helped us gauge survival and belonging. But what once had a purpose now wreaks havoc in our modern lives.
Instead of measuring who could build the strongest shelter or gather food, we now measure ourselves against careers, bank accounts, relationships, appearances, and even parenting styles. The problem? We rarely compare ourselves fairly.
We stack our everyday, unfiltered reality against someone else’s highlight reel:
Their vacation photos vs. your workday stress.
Their promotion announcement vs. your career doubts.
Their picture-perfect family vs. your messy dinner table.
Their thriving business vs. your fragile, newly planted one.
Of course, you’ll feel like you’re falling short, you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s carefully curated show.
The Social Media Trap
Let’s be honest, social media is one of the biggest accelerators of comparison. A few decades ago, we only compared ourselves to people we actually knew. Today, we compare ourselves to strangers across the world, and somehow we let their lives become our measuring stick.
A quick scroll can stir up thoughts like:
“She started her business last year and already has thousands of followers. Why am I still struggling?”
“They’re renovating their dream house while I’m still renting. Did I make the wrong choices?”
“Her kids are successfully launching...... mine just fought over cereal.”
It’s not that people are intentionally trying to make you feel small, it’s that social media is designed to highlight the shiny, filtered moments. You rarely see the credit card debt behind the remodel, the burnout behind the business, or the tears that came before the smiling family photo.
When you compare your real, unfiltered life to someone else’s curated moments, joy doesn’t stand a chance.
The Myth of “Being Behind”
One of the most damaging lies comparison whispers is: “You should be further along by now.”
Maybe you thought you’d be married by a certain age, or own a home, or be making six figures, or have your dream business thriving. When those milestones don’t line up “on time,” it’s tempting to feel like you’ve failed.
But here’s the reality: there is no universal timeline. Life isn’t a race, and you’re not late.
Think about it:
Vera Wang designed her first wedding dress at 40.
Colonel Sanders franchised KFC in his 60s.
Oprah was fired from her first job as a TV anchor.
If they had believed they were “behind,” they might have stopped trying. Instead, they trusted their path was unfolding exactly as it should.
Your timeline is yours alone. The season you’re in right now, whether it feels slow, uncertain, or messy, is preparing you for what comes next.
Gratitude as an Antidote
If comparison is the thief of joy, gratitude is the guard dog.
Comparison says, “You don’t have enough.” Gratitude says, “Look at all that I already have.”
I’ll admit, I’m not a big journaler. But when I catch myself slipping into comparison, I pause and list in my head everything I’m grateful for. For some of you, writing it down may help. For others, it’s enough to speak it out loud or reflect silently. The point isn’t the method; it’s the mindset shift.
Gratitude roots us in the present and opens our eyes to blessings we often overlook.
Celebrate Your Small Wins
Comparison also has a sneaky way of making your progress feel invisible.
You might think:
“I only lost 5 pounds, but she lost 20.”
“I got a promotion, but he’s already running the company.”
“I just booked two clients, but she’s fully booked for months.”
But here’s the thing: Progress is Progress.
When you dismiss your wins, you rob yourself of well-deserved joy. Celebrate them all, the big, the small, and everything in between. Because those “little” wins are often the stepping stones to the bigger ones.
Practical Ways to Break Free from Comparison
Awareness is the first step. The second is taking action. Here are a few ways to stop comparison from stealing your joy:
Limit Your Exposure. If scrolling leaves you deflated, set boundaries. Unfollow accounts that trigger negative feelings. Take intentional breaks. A few years ago, I stepped away from social media altogether, and it was the reset I desperately needed. Now, as I slowly re-engage, I do so with intentional boundaries.
Reframe Your Thoughts. Instead of thinking, “She’s ahead of me,” try, “Her success shows what’s possible for me, too.” Use others as inspiration, not competition.
Stay Rooted in Your Values. Ask yourself: What do I truly want? Sometimes comparison tricks us into chasing things we don’t even care about. Success looks different for everyone. Define yours.
Practice Mindfulness. When comparison creeps in, pause. Take a breath. Say to yourself: “I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.” Anchoring yourself in the present interrupts the spiral of “what if” and “why not me.”
Choose Supportive People. Surround yourself with friends who cheer for you, celebrate your wins, and remind you of your worth. And distance yourself, lovingly, from those who drain your spirit or make you feel “less than' or like you should be where they are.
You Are Exactly Where You’re Supposed to Be
I have this exact quote hanging by my bathroom mirror to read every day because this is the piece we so often forget. Comparison whispers that you’re behind, but life is unfolding on time. Every step you’ve taken, every setback, every detour, every delay, has shaped the person you are today.
You may not be where you thought you’d be, but you are where you’re meant to be. There are lessons in this season. There is growth happening here. And there is beauty, even in the waiting.
Trust that your story is still being written.
Final Thoughts
Comparison is a thief. It sneaks in quietly, telling lies that rob you of joy, peace, and gratitude. But you have a choice… you can let it steal from you, or you can reclaim your perspective.
Remember this:
Social media isn’t reality.
There is no universal timeline.
Gratitude changes everything.
Your small wins matter.
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
The next time comparison creeps in, pause. Smile at your own messy, beautiful journey. And remind yourself …. your joy is worth protecting.
