The Wake-Up Call

Somewhere between raising kids, managing households, and holding everything together, many of us hit our 40s or 50s and realize we’ve been surviving, not living. We’ve mastered multitasking (not really), but somewhere along the way, we lost touch with ourselves.

Midlife isn’t the beginning of the end, it’s the moment you finally say, “Wait… what about me?”

You’ve spent years being everything to everyone. Now it’s time to become someone for you.

As a nurse, burnout became a near-official part of the job description. I was always chasing the next “fix” for my exhaustion: new titles, new roles, new responsibilities. As I advanced into leadership, that fix felt further away than ever. Then I moved states, decided to shake things up, and whoops, cue COVID. Suddenly, it didn’t matter what line of work you were in, and for some of us in healthcare, we just didn’t come up for air for about two years. That was the time I realized: I could not keep doing this. My health was starting to pay the price. But quitting? That wasn’t an option, because, hello, single-mom life. So instead, I started to prioritise myself. Which, as a solo mom, was a wild idea... but necessary.

The “Good Girl” Trap: Why We Struggle to Prioritize Ourselves

Most midlife women were raised to be helpers, fixers, nurturers. We take pride in doing it all, but that identity can quietly morph into exhaustion.

The guilt is deep when we say no or try to take time for ourselves. But here’s the truth: constantly putting others first isn’t selfless, it’s self-erasing.

You’re not being selfish when you take care of yourself, you’re being sustainable. Your energy, mood, and health affect everyone around you.

Thriving starts when you stop apologizing for your needs.

When I was deep in the trenches of COVID, I thought doing what was expected, showing up, caring, giving more and more, Until I ended up in the hospital. That hospital bed was a rude (but effective) wake-up call: whether you run yourself into the ground or set boundaries, you’re still viewed as replaceable at work, but not at home. So why was I sacrificing myself for a system that didn’t see me anyway?

The Cost of Constant Survival Mode

Chronic stress, hormonal shifts, years of sleep deprivation, it can leave you feeling foggy, anxious, and wondering, “Who is that woman in the mirror?”

Your body isn’t betraying you, it’s begging for balance. When estrogen, progesterone, and cortisol are out of sync, your capacity to cope, rest, and find joy plummets.

But here’s the good news: with the right support, hormonal, physical, and emotional, you can feel like yourself again (actually, an even better version).

I went through perimenopause during those intense years and didn’t even realize it. I was told: “It’s stress… It’s normal… It’s your age… or your job.” The advice? “Quit your job.” (Sure... just let me trade in all my bills and responsibilities for a beach and a hammock.)

It wasn’t until I became an NP and got certified in BHRT (bio-identical hormone replacement therapy) that things clicked. I wasn’t broken, I was out of balance. And balance is fixable.

Relearning How to Take Up Space

Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you’re abandoning everyone else. It means you’re honouring your boundaries and saying yes to what aligns with your peace.

Try this:

Schedule you first. Treat your workout, journaling, or rest time like any other appointment.
Say no! With no excuses required. “No” is a complete sentence.
Ask what you need before you say what you’ll do.

This is how you rebuild trust in yourself.

After my hospital stay, I decided enough was enough. I started working 8-9 hour days instead of 14-hour marathons, logged off when I said I would, and let my team and family remind me to come home. Having people in your corner who care about you as more than the to-do list makes a world of difference.

Redefining Health & Success in Midlife

Health isn’t about fitting into your jeans from 2003. It’s about energy, clarity, and joy. It’s feeling grounded in your body, confident in your choices, and genuinely excited about what’s next.

Success isn’t about constant productivity, it’s about living in alignment with what matters.

Ask yourself:

What would “thriving” look like if it weren’t about doing more, but feeling more alive?

I left the leadership track and traded it for life as an NP in urgent care. Stress? Yep, still there (ever tried a Monday shift in urgent care?). But the mission is clear: I’m taking care of patients again. I recalled why I entered healthcare in the first place. And that mattered.

Building Your “Thriving Toolkit”

Every woman’s journey looks different, but here are powerful places to begin:

Hormone balance: Support your body, don’t fight it. (Think BHRT, nutrition, movement, intentional rest.)
Boundaries: Energy-management matters more than time-management.
Purpose: Revisit passions, hobbies or dreams you shelved.
Connection: Surround yourself with women who are also done with running on empty.
Reflection: Journaling, therapy or coaching can help you rewrite your midlife story.

Thriving isn’t about adding more to your plate, it’s about clearing space for what truly nourishes you.

A New Kind of Midlife Revolution

Forget the narrative that midlife is a “crisis.” It’s not the end, it’s your invitation to rebuild with intention.

This could be your most vibrant, creative, and fulfilling era, if you stop waiting for permission to live it.

The moment you decide you deserve to thrive, everything shifts.

You’ve done the chaos. You’ve done the burnout. Now it’s time to do you.

Because the most radical thing a midlife woman can do… is finally put herself first.

Grab my 30-Day Self-Respect Planner, it’s like a personal pep talk meets a boundary bootcamp.

From Surviving to Thriving: How Midlife Women Can Finally Put Themselves First