What I Wish I Knew About Money, Motherhood, and Midlife Hustling 10 Years Ago
If I could go back a decade and sit down with my younger self over coffee, I’d have a few things to say, especially about money, motherhood, and the never-ending hustle that seems to define midlife.
I’d probably order a latte, she’d grab her usual, and I’d look across the table at the woman who was still trying to figure it all out. She’d have tired eyes from working late nights, a to-do list that never ended, and a heart full of both hope and worry. I’d want to tell her: You’re doing better than you think. But you’re focusing your energy on all the wrong places.
For so many years, I poured my energy into building someone else’s dream. I worked long hours, sacrificed weekends, and gave pieces of myself to a job that, in the end, meant nothing. The titles, the advancements, the performance reviews, the “security” of a paycheck, they all faded as quickly as they came. What I didn’t realize then was this: if I could work that hard for someone else, I could just as easily work that hard for myself.
That’s the piece I wish I had known sooner.
Money: Security vs. Freedom
Back then, I thought money was all about security. As a solo mom, a steady paycheck, retirement contributions, and a reliable health plan were supposed to make me feel safe. That’s what I’d been taught: get a “good job” with benefits, and you’ll never have to worry.
But here’s the truth, no one really said out loud: financial security isn’t the same thing as financial freedom. Security is being tethered to someone else’s decisions. Freedom is calling the shots yourself.
When you’re an employee, your paycheck depends on someone else’s choices, whether the company does well, whether leadership likes you, whether budgets are cut. You can show up, give 110%, and still lose everything because the decisions aren’t yours to make, and in the end, when you leave a job, you are replaced immediately. Hear me when I say this, you are replaceable. I don’t say that to be mean, but it is the truth. That’s how it works: you leave, they replace you, because they have a business to run. Now, I am not saying you're not valuable, but that is a different conversation entirely.
Freedom, on the other hand, is messy and scary, but it’s yours. Freedom is creating income streams that don’t disappear overnight. It’s investing in your own skills, ideas, and future. It’s knowing you don’t have to beg for vacation days or worry if layoffs are around the corner.
If I could go back, I’d tell myself to:
Invest earlier in my own ideas. Even the small, half-formed ones.
Start building multiple income streams. A side hustle, a blog, digital products, consulting, anything to diversify.
Take risks when the stakes are lower. Ten years ago, the fear of failure felt so heavy. But failing at something I created would have been far less painful than giving my best years to something I didn’t even own.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I still have a regular “9-5” job that helps pay the bills, but I show up differently than I did for many years and put my energy into the things I really enjoy, like this blog and my side practice. Because at the end of the day, the most significant financial risk is betting your entire future on a job that doesn’t belong to you.
Motherhood: Balance Is a Myth
As a solo mom, I spent years chasing this elusive thing called balance. I wanted to be the dependable employee, the engaged mom, and the woman who could hold it all together with grace. I thought if I just worked harder, scheduled smarter, and tried longer, balance would show up like a reward for my effort.
Spoiler alert: Balance is a Myth.
What I’ve learned instead is that life is lived in seasons. Some seasons demand hustle. Others invite rest. Some seasons mean late nights and packed schedules. Others bring slower mornings and long talks over dinner with your kids.
If I could whisper in my younger self’s ear, I’d say: Stop chasing balance and start honoring your seasons.
That means:
Giving yourself permission to work late when you’re building something that matters.
Letting go of guilt when you need to miss a school event because you’re providing for your family.
Carving out intentional time for rest and joy, even when life feels chaotic.
Motherhood taught me resilience, but it also taught me grace, the grace to realize that being everything to everyone at once isn’t the goal. The goal is presence. And presence looks different depending on the season you’re in.
Midlife Hustling: Building Your Own Dream
There’s something about hitting midlife that makes you pause. You start to see time differently. Ten years no longer feels endless. The hustle you’ve given away so freely suddenly feels expensive, because you realize your energy isn’t infinite.
For me, that shift came when I realized hustling for someone else would never feel fulfilling, but hustling for myself changed everything.
Midlife hustling isn’t about burning yourself out, it’s about redirecting your energy with intention. It’s about:
Building systems that support your life, not drain it.
Creating businesses that align with your values.
Finding ways to work smarter, not harder.
Choosing projects that light you up instead of roles that box you in.
I’ve learned that the hustle doesn’t have to mean exhaustion. It can mean creation, impact, and legacy.
The Hard Truth About Sacrifice
When I think about the years I gave to jobs that didn’t care if I stayed or left, I feel two things…. grief and resolve. Grief for the time I can’t get back. Resolve to make sure I never do it again.
Sacrifice is inevitable in life, but here’s the catch, make sure what you’re sacrificing for is yours. Sacrifice your free evenings to write the book. Sacrifice your weekends to build the business. Sacrifice your comfort to learn the new skill. But don’t sacrifice yourself for someone else’s bottom line.
That’s a trade you’ll never win.
Lessons I’d Hand My Younger Self
If I could slide a little notebook across the café table to my 10-year-younger self, here’s what I’d write inside:
Your work ethic is your superpower. But make sure it’s pointed in the right direction.
Invest in yourself first. Courses, books, mentors, therapy, it’s all worth it.
Seasons matter. Stop comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel.
Freedom beats security every time. Even when it’s scarier.
Midlife isn’t an ending. It’s the perfect time to reinvent yourself.
The Takeaway I Wish I Had Known
If you’re in that place, working yourself to the bone, raising kids, and wondering if this is really all there is, here’s what I wish someone had told me:
You already have the grit, the determination, and the work ethic. You’ve proven that by showing up every single day for someone else. Now imagine what happens when you pour that same energy into your own vision.
Even if you are still working for someone else, midlife is the time to start taking back your life and doing what makes you happy. Because in the end, the hustle feels a whole lot different when it’s building your dream instead of theirs.
Midlife Isn’t the End...It’s the Rewrite
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Midlife isn’t the end. It’s the perfect time to rewrite the story. It’s the perfect time to shift from survival mode to creation mode.
Stick around here at The Balanced Life Hustle, where I share tools, strategies, and honest reflections to help you build a life that feels like yours again. Because the truth is, you don’t need to have it all figured out, you just need the courage to start.
