You know those moments when your child says something so wildly unexpected that you just stand there in disbelief?

Recently, while I was out of town, mine called to tell me the smoke alarm was beeping.

No big deal, right?

Except then came the question:

“How do I change the batteries?”

Cue the long pause, deep breath, and mental flashback to 21 years of parenting.

Because somehow, in all the years of teaching her right from wrong, table manners, and how to parallel park without taking out a mailbox, I apparently skipped fire alarm maintenance.

It got me thinking, what else have I forgotten to teach?

The Myth of the “Fully Prepared” Young Adult

We spend their childhoods worrying about grades, sports, and college applications, thinking that once they get older, they’ll just… figure out the rest.

Spoiler alert: they don’t.

The truth is, adulting doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

It’s a mix of trial, error, and YouTube tutorials at 2 a.m.

But here’s the thing, our kids want to be capable. They just don’t always know what they’re supposed to know. And honestly, can we blame them? When we were their age, life skills weren’t optional. We learned how to pump gas, balance a checkbook, and change the fire alarm batteries, well, because no one else was going to do it.

Now, between modern conveniences and parents who want to help (because we’ve seen how messy life can get), a lot of those small, practical lessons get skipped.

The Real-Life Wake-Up Call

That smoke alarm moment sent me on a mission.

I started making a mental list of all the “basic” things every young adult should know before they head out into the world, things that don’t show up in school curriculums but make all the difference when you’re living on your own.

Things like:

How to unclog a drain (hint: it’s not with more Drano).
How to check tire pressure before a road trip.
How to make a doctor’s appointment and actually show up for it.
How to budget for groceries that include something green.

You know, the kind of skills that keep you from panicking when life throws a “real-world” curveball.

So, naturally, I turned my little list into something more official, because if my kid needed it, yours probably does too. The crazy thing is, as I sit here to write this, I realize I totally just made my daughter a doctor appointment today...she is 21. This list is for all of us!

I will call it “The Adulting Starter Checklist.”

It’s a fun, simple checklist of the everyday skills every young adult should know to survive (and ideally thrive) out there on their own.

Why This Matters (More Than You Think)

Teaching life skills isn’t about control, it’s about freedom for you and them.

The kind that comes from knowing your child can handle themselves when you’re not around to help.

There’s a quiet confidence that comes with being capable. When they know how to fix a tripped breaker, cook a meal, or call the bank about a suspicious charge, they feel empowered. They stop calling for help with every crisis because they start believing: “I’ve got this.”

And let’s be real, adulting is hard enough.

Between inflation, job hunting, and the price of groceries (seriously, when did butter become a luxury?), our young adults have enough stress. The least we can do is make sure they don’t have to Google “how to boil water” along the way.

What’s on the Checklist

The Adulting Starter Kit covers six areas of everyday life, the things we assume they’ve picked up, but maybe… haven’t:

Home Basics: Change a smoke detector battery (obviously), reset a breaker, use basic tools, and handle small home fixes before calling maintenance or Mom.

Kitchen Confidence: Cook a few actual meals, safely use appliances, store food properly, and grocery shop with a plan (and maybe even a coupon).

Money & Adulting 101: Understand credit, pay bills, make a budget, and know the difference between “in my account” and “available balance.”

Health & Self-Care: Schedule appointments, manage medications, handle first aid, and wash sheets more than once a semester.

Street Smarts: Pump gas, change a tire, avoid scams, and lock the doors every time (common sense, but you’d be surprised). Funny story, I did not change my first tire until I was close to 40, and my teenage son helped me. Yes, I used YouTube, but I had no idea how hard it was. I think it's good to be familiar, that way in an urgent situation you are prepared…. kind of.

Emotional Skills: Say no gracefully, handle conflict, write a thank-you note, and know it’s okay to ask for help.

Because independence isn’t just about moving out, it’s about being capable, resourceful, and resilient when things get real.

How to Use the Checklist

Print it. Stick it on the fridge. Make it a weekend challenge.

(Extra points if you turn it into a “Life Skills Olympics.” Loser does laundry for everyone.)

The point isn’t to overwhelm them. It’s to start conversations and fill in the gaps before those gaps become 3 a.m. phone calls that start with, “Mom, how do I…”

Think of it as a confidence-building roadmap.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what we want for our kids—confidence, competence, and a sense of ownership over their lives.

A Little Perspective (and Humor Helps)

We joke about “kids these days,” but let’s be honest, we all had our own clueless moments.

I got married very young, so I always had someone else to help through the "I don't know " moments, because nobody taught me.

So when our kids mess up or don’t know something that seems obvious, it’s not failure. It’s opportunity. A chance to teach, laugh, and remind ourselves that learning how to adult is a process.

And if they’re willing to learn (even if it’s after a minor disaster), that’s what matters most.

The Bottom Line

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “Wait, you don’t know how to do that?” you’re not alone.

Parenting young adults comes with a new kind of challenge: letting them grow while realizing there are still a few lessons left to teach.

So, before they head out on their own, or even if they’re already out there and calling you about smoke alarms, grab the free checklist below.

Download the“Adulting Starter Checklist”: Life Skills Every Teen (or Young Adult) Should Know”

It’s practical, funny, and surprisingly eye-opening.

(And who knows, you might even learn something you forgot along the way.)

Because independence isn’t built overnight, it’s built one small skill at a time.

And trust me, knowing how to change those batteries?

That’s a great place to start.

Adulting 101: The Things I Thought My Kids Knew (But Apparently Didn’t)